My son, Guntram Christian Anderlik was born Wednesday morning August 6, 2008 at 10:33 am. He was 6lbs, 19.5 inches long. head full of black hair, no problems nursing, bundle of joy!!
the really great thing about it is that my almost three year old daughter has adapted very well. She loves him sooo much and isn't jealous or regressing.
I thought judging by this picture she would...
That's her in her little brother's clothes before he was born... that's a 0-3 mo. sleeper:)
but here she is afterwards...
They seem to get along well with each other.
She says things like, "oh, sweet baby brother" and asks for me to help her express milk from her chest when she sees me pump.... "mommy, help me please" while grabbing her nonexistent chest:)
She will run from room to room looking for her brother while going "uh-oh, baby gone" until she finds him.
Since I've had him, I haven't hardly knit. I've done about four rounds of a pinwheel blanket and one cable pattern repeat on the evangelines.
I have found myself bluesy. I don't know why and it's not fun to talk about because I sound like a poor pathetic girl with low self esteem who's always fishing for compliments and attention. It's hard to explain.
I can't wait to get into a groove with my new life. A scheduled day... I can't wait until I can go on walks again. It's hard to find time to shower, I can barely walk around the house unless I'm medicated. It's depressing.
And women who just gave birth should never ever pick up a mirror, especially in the bathroom. That would bring Chuck Norris to tears:(
I don't know what normal is anymore, so my perception of normal is far fetched. I can't say "I just want to be normal" because I haven't been with two kids before... so I have to find a new normal for myself. Something comfortable to me.
I wish I could find a way to tell my husband that I want more attention without sounding clingy or needy. It's not like i can make love to him or anything at the moment.
I just can't wait to feel healed enough to get out of the house. I'm ripped so bad I can't even drive. And I'm going stir crazy lately. My husband is working doubles, and when he's home he watches tv and just wants to relax because he works so hard, so it's hard to say "watch the kids while I take a shower" or "baby, pay attention to me"
I just want to curl up into a ball until I feel right again....
5 comments:
Ohhh... HUGS. I am so sorry you're feeling so down. Did you have trouble with post partum depression after your daughter? It sounds like you're dealing with it now and it makes things sooo hard. (Like they're not hard enough already.) Don't feel bad asking for help! You need it and you deserve it. Ask the doctor, too. Do you have anyone there ro help you? You shouldn't be recovering, taking care of a newborn, AND a 3 yr old at the same time all by yourself. Thinking about you... feel free to pm me on Rav (ceci9293) or email me (ceci9293@hotmail.com).
I don't remember how my mood was after my daughter. I know I slept a lot! My mother in law is such a wonderful person, she helps me a lot. My husband works a lot so I'm at home with both of them by myself most of the day. It's hard, some days it's harder. I am going to wait until my four week checkup to bring it up to my doctor, because it may be gone by then. My mood is very sensitive to my hormones.
Thank you so much for your support! It's great to have someone listen who understands.
I had major post partum depression. I already suffer from depression and anxiety, and PPD hit big time. You are NOT alone. It is a very good idea to ask your doctor, and get some therapy, even if only for a short time. Maybe there's a support group around. I didn't have any but I do have an online forum I've frequented and they helped immensely. Here's the url, don't let the name make you feel badly: Mentally Ill Mommies
http://forums.delphiforums.com/mentallyillmoms/start
- I've received so much positive, non-judemental support from the women there. So join us if you'd like. Tell them Loraine sent you, or just read for awhile until you feel like joining in on the conversation.
Glad your MIL can help. Sounds like you are doing well with all that you have.
I came here from the Monk-a-philes group on Ravelry. Great place, eh?
Forgot, wanted to say, what a cute daughter you have there. How she was able to get her brother's clothes on is a mystery. LOL Very sweet.
((((((hugs))))))
:o)
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